Cooler Than Me

Do people really compare their lives to others when they read a facebook status? I had a person who I did a play with years ago unfriend me recently when she said that my facebook statuses  made her feel bad about her life and her relationship to her children. Her explanation was contrite and apologetic and I certainly don’t begrudge her insulating herself from things that cause her pain (and I do feel there were other reasons beyond what she was telling me – which is why she was telling me in the first place without just quietly clicking the ‘unfriend’ button.) But I have to take her at her word so I did find it odd that she would take MY life so personally.

Do you have any idea what I live with day to day? Do you think that my facebook status adequately sums up what I’ve been up to over the past few hours or days? When I see advice to stop comparing your life to others social media profiles, it makes me think a lot of people need to stop thinking they know anything about anyone else’s life.

I don’t put up happy statuses to make you think my life is better than yours. Whatever you think about my status updates are YOUR thoughts about my status updates. Believe it or not, they were not written for you to feel bad about.

I don’t put up much negative status updates because I (emphasis on the I) don’t want to wallow in the negative stuff that happens. And crappy stuff happens to the best of us. When I’m reminded of something horrible that happened to me last year, I don’t want to dwell on it. I want to dwell on what came out of it. And if nothing good came out of it, I’d rather forgive and move the freak on.

I don’t put up much negative status updates because there are family members who would not like me to air some things on the Internet.

I don’t put up much negative status updates because – let’s be real for a second – who cares what I’m angry about that day? And if you only want to know that I’m angry about something to make yourself feel better about your life – well – I’m sincerely sorry you have to look to someone else’s life for justification of your own. If you’re angry about something –  I bet there is a legitimate reason for it. Own it, Girlfriend.

I don’t put up much negative status updates because I’m ridiculous and goofy most of the time.

And I’m certainly not better than anyone else for not posting negative stuff. We all get to post what speaks to us and/or something we’d like to discuss with our friends.

I will put up an occasional sad status update when someone passes and I want to pay tribute to the meaning and happiness our relationship gave me. Or I will put up an occasional sad status update when it only pertains to me and I’d like a virtual hug from my friends.  Or I may whine about my children’s lack of aim when it comes to putting appropriate things in the dishwasher or laundry hamper when I need to hear that other people have been there. But you know, that’s MY thing. You shouldn’t compare your feelings about David Bowie dying to my feelings about it. We both had different reactions to/experiences with David Bowie’s oeuvre –  you’re not as sad as I am about it? Okay – you’re totally okay. You’re maybe going to be more sad that Alan Rickman died than I am (though I doubt it) and that’s OKAY.

I will update when something amazing happens to me because I like to share how amazing the world surrounding me is. That makes me me. You’re not me. You can never be me. I don’t waste my time wishing I could be you not because I think your life sucks but because I can NEVER be you.

So go – be you. That’s the best you can do and whatever you might compare you to? Well, that’s not you. That other life on social media you only know status updates about? It’s just the thinnest slice of their life. You don’t want their life because you got your life. You know all the pitfalls and rough roads in your life – they’re life? – you have no idea. And if you suddenly landed in their life – you’d be completely unprepared and being unprepared kills a lot of people. Well, at the very least it makes them miserable.

You got you. You get it?

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